Saturday, October 16, 2010

DAY 3: ACT prep. It can die!
I better make the score that I want this time!
Seriously! Getting into college is tough!
Not only do you have to study hard but you have to take this test that never ends! haha

I painted today :)
It makes me so happy!
Seriously, to create something beautiful gives me the greatest joy!
I think thats why I love to dance. I love to be apart of something that is not quite all in my control.
It also allows me to think.
Which I did a lot of today.
It kind of made me sad, the thoughts that I was having.
I was thinking of how somethings mean so much to me, but to someone else, it is just another thing. And for some reason, that made me sad.

I talked to my friend Marcus today.
We talked about a lot of things. One thing stood out though.
We talked about who we are going to marry.
I wonder who that man is?
Is he on his mission?
Is he even a member yet?
Do I know him?
It made me think. Which again I do a lot of.
It made me run over my past.
IT makes me wonder.
Totally girly of me I know.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” Neil Galman

So wrong. Yet so true.

1 comment:

  1. Cute blog Alex! You will love looking back at it in a few years!
    It's fun to see what you are up to - good luck on the ACT! We hope to see you out here at BYU next year! :)

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